55th OHS Reunion

Last weekend I went into Orange for my 55th reunion at Orange High School. A small group of us met the evening before for a get together and dinner at the home of Forrest & Diane Shattuck. I stayed at Nancy and Terry Teigen's home in Orange as did Don and Gale Sturdevant. Sondra and Bob Teeter rounded out our little group. We all sat around reminiscing. The reunion, was held at Chapman University. Chapman bought the old high school buildings after our second year of high school, so the reunion was like going back to our original high school. We had a great time in our little group and at the reunion--although it seemed like there were a lot of old people there. 51 of our class have died--probably about 30%. A couple of our faculty made it to the reunion, but they are becoming rather scarce. Just a few days before the reunion John Bayard, one of our teachers, passed away. A website in his honor contained this poem he had written, which I liked:

To Those I Love

When I am gone, just release me, let me go —

so I can move into my afterglow.

You mustn't tie me down with your tears;

let's be happy that we had so many years.

I gave you my love, you can only guess

how much you gave me in happiness.

I thank you for the love you each have shown,

but now it's time I traveled on alone.

So grieve for me awhile, if grieve you must,

then let your grief be comforted with trust.

It's only for a while that we must part,

so bless the memories within your heart.

And then, when you must come this way alone,

I'll greet you with a smile and a "Welcome Home."

John Bayard---June 12, 1923 – September 18, 2010

We walked and drove around Orange which is now a historic district with all the old houses and storefronts being preserved. It is becoming a town of upscale restaurants and antique stores. I went by the house I was born in. It has been moved from the original lot (which was 5 acres of oranges at one time) but is still intact.

So it was a good weekend with friends and acquaintances some of whom I hadn't seen in 55 years. Also, Stanford trounced Notre Dame. After I got back to Carlsbad, Forrest sent this link which I think sums up the feelings at a reunion like this.

This Saturday I will be heading back to Texas with a stop in Tucson along the way to see the Woosleys. Unless something happens between now and then, I will not be posting until I am back there.

Lorrie is here!

Lorrie has been here for the past several days and it has been great. For Lorrie, coming into the condo here for the first real visit since Sally's death, the emotions have been intense. I know exactly how she feels since I feel it every day, but with time the intensity wanes. Lorrie was particularly pleased at how the plants in the patio and on the balcony are doing. Sally always had a lot of plants that died back in the winter and then she replaced with new ones each summer. After the California memorial, Lorrie and Kathie came over and all the old plants were cut back and some were replanted. I have been watering everything and it is quite amazing how everything has come back almost better than ever.

Saturday we went out to the Temecula wine country to meet Boyd and Helen for lunch at Cafe Champagne at the Thornton winery. Linda (Boyd and Helen's daughter and Lorrie's cousin) also met us and it was a great get together. The weather and the lunch were great.

Yesterday was Lorrie's birthday and we went down to San Diego. First we went to a cafe near

Balboa Park and had brunch. Lorrie had a Captain Crunch / Blackberry pancake. The single pancake was the size of her dinner plate. We then went to the Zoo, which is one of the best in the world. We took the bus tour first and then wandered. We particularly enjoyed seeing the pandas. There were not too many people there on Monday so we had no wait to see the pandas and could stay as long as we wished.

Lorrie leaves this afternoon. We hope to get to the SD Museum of Art (also in Balboa Park) to see the Toulouse Lautrec exhibit that is ongoing.

It has been a great visit with Lorrie. And, although we shared some tears, we think we are doing pretty well in this difficult process.

Dungeness Crabs

I meant to say on the last post that Jimmy packed up 8 or 9 Dungeness crabs for me to take home on the plane. He catches them and quickly cleans and cooks and then freezes them. So I had a box of crabs to carry on the plane back to Carlsbad. I labeled them "Dungeness Crabs" so that the security folks at the airport would know what they were looking for. I also told the TSA guy what they were and there was no problem. But because the box was labeled, everyone who saw it had to make a comment. And when I got on the plane, the stewardess took one look and said that she was going to melt some butter and open a bottle of wine.

Anyway, I got them home and the next night we had a crab feast at Craig's. I have saved about four crabs to have another feast when Lorrie gets here next week. They were great and I am looking forward to next week's dinner.

I will be returning to Texas the first week of October. I plan to fly this time. Sally and I always drove out to have a car when we were here. This time I am leaving a car here. I will first fly to Tucson to see my friends, the Woosleys and then will go on to IAH. I missed the downpours in Texas of last week and I hope there are no hurricanes in the future to greet me when I arrive.

Seattle & Port Ludlow

I spent the last week in Seattle and Port Ludlow seeing old friends. Started in Seattle where Len and Alansa Bates live. Len was a college room mate and has known Sally about as long as I have. We have remained in touch for the past 50+ years and it was a great visit. Seattle was showing off (at least for a while) and Rainier was out in all its glory. Then we all went over to Port Ludlow to see Jimmy and Teresa Goode, Sally's brother and her sister-in-law. This was also great and we feasted on Dungeness crab caught by Jimmy accompanied by some of the best wines I have ever had. We had a couple of toasts to Sally, who would have loved it. We used to live in Seattle 45 years ago when Sally taught elementary school and I was a house officer at Harborview and the UW. So it was all pretty nostalgic, but we all got through it and it helped to be there with others who were so close to Sally.

Getting settled back here in Carlsbad. September should be pretty busy with visits by other friends and Lorrie is coming for a week. Hooray.

A friend sent me this poem:

Loving Memory

I carry you with me into the world

into the smell of rain

& the words that dance between people

& for me, it will always be this way,

walking in the light,

remembering being alive,

together

Profound article

Recently, I read an article in the New Yorker by Dr. Atul Gawande, a very smart and articulate surgeon from Harvard. It is about hospice care and much of what he writes about is relevant to all of us of a certain age and those caring for patients who are seriously ill. The link is

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2010/08/02/100802fa_fact_gawande?printable=true

If you have some time, it is worth reading. I was particularly interested in his discussion about the use of hospice care along with standard medical care for those with serious illnesses. In fact an article just came out in the New England Journal of Medicine this week showing that early palliative care along with standard oncologic care for metastatic cancer resulted in less depression, better quality of life and better mood scores than standard care alone. Also the hospice group had less aggressive care at the end of life but had on average a significantly longer survival than the standard care (about 3 months longer). Now 3 months doesn't seem like a lot, but it is the amount of benefit received from many types of chemotherapy. And, believe me, even a few months of good quality life is worthwhile, particularly for the surviving family--and I think for the patient as well who has a little extra good-quality time with loved ones. It may be that in the future, the paradigm of calling in hospice at the last minute may change to have hospice involved early even if the patient may have a remission.

Mountain Town

Today I went up to the little gold rush town of Julian about an hour from Carlsbad but up at about 4000 ft in the Cuyamaca mountains. It is like a stage set town with old storefronts and a single main street. Sally and I had talked about going up there, but we never got around to doing it. The town is known around here for its apple pies, which are really good. So I had to get a pie for dinner while I was there and we had it for desert tonight. Yummy.

The weather is warming up some and the ocean water is also getting warmer so it is ok to go to the beach and even get in the water. Looks like summer is finally arriving.

Experimental cooking

Kathie and I have decided it would be fun to try and cook something different each Friday. This week we may try a recipe from Padma Lakshmi "Tangy tart hot and sweet" book--Pipali Chicken Curry, Madras style. Not sure we can find all the ingredients, but will try and will let you know.

Also, yesterday I made plane reservations to Seattle to see my friends Alansa and Len Bates and Jim Goode (Sally's brother). We lived in Seattle from 1963 to 1966 and have been back only rarely. This is something exiting to look forward to--at the end of August.

Still unusually cool here in contrast with most everywhere else--can't complain.