One week until the California Memorial

We are looking forward to seeing many of our family and friends at the memorial for Sally in

Carlsbad on Saturday, May 29 at 11am at the Ocean House on the corner of Carlsbad Village Drive and Carlsbad Blvd. (US 101). Lorrie and I will be flying out next Wednesday to help get it all arranged. Kathie has been the person who has had the major job of selecting the venue and working with their staff. There will be a reception at the same place following the memorial. The memorial will be conducted by Mrs. Annie Watts, who has been Sally's counselor and spiritual coach during her ordeal and who led the memorial in Texas, which was great. There is no dress code but I will probably wear slacks and a sport coat--no tie and will not be upset at anything people want to wear.

Personally, the past 3 weeks have been up and down. I think that there is more up recently than down, but I am still finding it hard to accept that Sally won't be coming home from some extended trip. I had our cleaning crew at the house yesterday and they commented that it was "so weird without Miss Sally." And indeed it is! But I am assured that, with time, it will get better and less painful.

About a year ago, a couple of our neighbors constructed a trail along the creek that borders our subdivision. This required a lot of work and removal of literally tons of trash that had dumped there over the decades since the time when this area was a pecan orchard. Sally and I were very appreciative of this effort. When the trail was completed, they constructed a bench on the trail, and Sally would go and sit on the bench with her binoculars to look for birds. After Sally's death, the neighbors had the great idea to have a plaque made in memory of Sally and place it on the bench. Last Wednesday, Lorrie and I walked over and with several of the neighbors opened a bottle of bubbly and toasted to Sally that we loved her and missed her terribly. So true!

I have mentioned to some of you, that in keeping with my

medical background and the confusion surrounding exactly what was happening with Sally and her cancer toward the end, I requested an autopsy, which was performed on May 3. I am hoping to get the report soon. I think it will be useful not only for me to understand Sally's illness, but also useful for her physicians to learn from her most unusual case.

One more reminder that, if you wish, you can jot a short note in memory of Sally at www.settegastkopf.com and select or search for Sally. It that doesn't work (sometimes it doesn't) please try www.mem.com and search for Sally Nies and you can contribute your memories.

Note date and time

I had originally posted the wrong date but the right day--the memorial will be on Saturday May 29 at the Ocean House in Carlsbad. We will plan to begin at 11am. We are planning a big turnout. There is wheel chair access.

We're Coping--And some details on Carlsbad

Well, it is now Wednesday--about 10 days out. Last week was very busy getting ready for the memorial. This week is less busy but there is still a lot to do. All this is kinda therapeutic. Friends and family have been wonderfully supportive.

We have some details on the Memorial that will be held in Carlsbad on Saturday, May 29. We are going to have the memorial and the reception at the Ocean House on Carlsbad Village Drive and Carlsbad Blvd (oceanhousecarlsbad.com). We will have our own room. We plan to begin at 11 am. We can't reproduce the wonderful memorial we had in Texas, but we hope to have an equally great memorial with a California flair. We are looking forward to seeing all our family and friends that can make it to the event. The memorial will be immediately followed by a reception. We hope for good weather, but it may be overcast and cool which would be typical for that time of year.

Don't forget to visit the website settegastkopg.com and select Sally Nies from the list on the right. I hope people will leave messages about their memories of Sally. These will be compiled into a memory book. Thanks.

Mother's Day

Thinking about Mother's day is tough. Thank goodness our children are here. And also thank goodness that we had a most wonderful memorial service yesterday. There were around 80 people there and many spoke about Sally and how she had influenced their lives. It was just great and we appreciate everyone who came, those who spoke and those who were unable to make it and sent your good thoughts.

I appreciate all your thoughts

I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of sympathy and support from all of Sally and my friends and relatives. I think that Sally touched so many people because she sincerely cared and was interested in others. When one meets someone who seems to care, I think that many people wonder what is their real agenda--what do they want from me. But with time, people realize that Sally had no "agenda". She was caring and supportive of everyone without any thought of how it would benefit her. And she was consistent in this throughout her life. Most people will never have met anyone who was quite like her. I am looking forward to seeing many of you at one of the memorials or receptions.

Obituaries Published

Sally's obituary was published today. Here are the web links:

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/latimes/obituary.aspx?page=lifestory&pid=142513966

http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/houstonchronicle/obituary.aspx?n=sally-goode-nies&pid=142522663

The Funeral Home offers a bereavement travel service at 1-800-224-4177. The funeral home number is 4219. I don't know if this would be helpful, but if you are planning to travel to the service or the reception following, you might check it out--can't hurt.

Published Obituary

We decided to publish the obituary only in the Houston Chronicle and the LA Times. Both should be coming out tomorrow, May 6. Be sure and look for it. I think it will be available online as well. We hope to see you at one of the memorials. This Saturday is in Sugar Land, TX and on May 29 it will be in Carlsbad, CA. The details of this Saturday's event is in the obituary in the last entry. The California one is not yet completely planned, but the date is firm.

Please visit the website www.settegastkopf.com and select Sally from the list on the right or go to www.mem.com and search for Sally Nies. There are pictures that were used at the memorial and there is a guestbook to sign. Check it out.

Sally's Obituary

The following will be submitted to the Houston Chronicle, San Diego Union Tribune, Denver Post, Tennessean, New York Times, and Los Angeles Times.

Sally Goode Nies, 68, passed away Sunday May 2, 2010 in Sugar Land, Texas after a courageous battle with cancer. She was born in Orange, California on October 8, 1941 to the late Claire and James Goode.

Sally is survived by her loving husband of 49 years, Alan and by her two children Lorrie and Craig and their spouses John Shinol and Kathie. She also leaves behind her 4 grandchildren Stephen and Andrew Shinol, and Christopher and Gavin Nies. Sally is survived by her brother Jimmy Goode and many other friends and relatives. Sally is preceded in death by her sister Priscilla Lorenz.

She was raised in Orange, California back when it was surrounded by orange groves. She and Alan were married in Orange on June 25, 1961. In their early days they moved around the country from Boston to Seattle to San Francisco to Washington DC. They then settled to raise their family in Nashville and Denver. Later they lived in Perth, Australia and Scotch Plains, New Jersey before retiring. There was no better place to retire than near her children and their families in Sugar Land, TX and Carlsbad, CA.

Sally was one of the kindest hearted people and truly cared for everyone. To the end she was hopeful and cheerful--her life was a remarkable example of Abraham Lincoln's quote "With malice toward none, with charity for all". She left a wake of grace.

Sally's presence brought a smile to those around her. Her generous heart and soul will live on in all who had the pleasure of knowing her. 

"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together...there is something you must always remember. You are stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart...I'll always be with you." Winnie the Pooh (and Sally too).


There will be two memorials for Sally. A memorial will be held in Sugar Land, Texas at 10am on Saturday, May 8 at The Settegast-Kopf Company, 15015 Southwest Freeway, Sugar Land, TX 77478 (281-565-5015). A reception will follow.

A memorial will be held in Carlsbad, CA on May 29. Details will be posted at alannies.blogspot.com

In lieu of flowers, the family requests donations be made in Sally’s memory to Heifer International (www.heifer.org)

So Sad

This is the hardest entry I have had to make. Our wonderful girl started bleeding from her intestines Friday night. She was hospitalized and the bleeding point was tied off, but she had another bleed and a cardiac arrest. She was resuscitated but the bleeding continued and could not be stopped in spite of the massive blood transfusions, etc. Sally passed away at noon today 5/2/10. Some time later we will have a memorial/celebration service and I will try and remember to post that so anyone who wishes can come. To the end she was hopeful and cheerful--her life was a remarkable example of Abraham Lincoln's quote "With malice toward none, with charity for all". We all miss her terribly. We had a great 49 years together!